“That daffodil looks funny, Mom!” she said, laughing and pointing at the new bud.
“Well, it has to start somewhere. And that’s where it begins.”
I knew what she was saying – sometimes things strike us as odd. That tiny, fragile bud pushing its way up through our rocky, leaf-strewn, unkempt garden bed.
But I could felt a tinge of criticism in the air. Whether she implied it or I just created it, I don’t know, but that’s human cynicism for you. We color the beauty of growth with judgement.
Was it meant to be that way?
I would posit that No – it wasn’t. That life was supposed to be carefree. We were supposed to rest in the knowledge that we were created in love and are loved unconditionally from day one through infinity.
But instead, the liar came and whispered in our ears that we could be more.
He’s still whispering – doing his dirty work of telling us we’re unloved and then making us compare ourselves to others – and I fall prey to him too often. My big downfall is ‘wasting time.’ I always think I’m not getting enough done. As if this life is a big race to finish whatever it is we’re supposed to finish.
Ten days ago, I was sitting with my grandma, lamenting my general lack of industry, when I told her my ‘battery theory.’ “I think people are born with different sized batteries,” I said. “Some people get D batteries, others Cs. I got triple-As!” She laughed and said, “I think you get that from me.”
I was surprised. But then she told me about some of the things she hadn’t done – like photo albums – and I loved her all the more. Because I don’t care about her accomplishments. I love her for her.
All the people I love most are the ones who are so genuinely themselves. Sometimes they have even persisted in a rocky atmosphere. Yet, they always maintain a certain air of grace that is unique to them.
Some of these loved ones are successful in a worldly sense. Some are not. Some seem to be well known, while others are like hidden gems. But they all have one thing in common: they have not stopped growing, and reaching for the Light.
I can’t help but think that that’s what the Lord wants from me too.
