Every waking moment is an opportunity to find peace.
I rediscovered this last night, when I was awake from 2:30 to 5:30 a.m.
I know why it happened – the insomnia. I made the mistake of looking at the computer, and then the iPad, for the few hours before bed. I let myself be sucked into the black hole of cyberspace, and I lost my way in there.
Then, I didn’t pray before dropping my head to the pillow.
You’d think I’d have learned by now, because I know that this is necessary for me. I even wrote a post about that awhile back – How to Sleep Well. But we are all stubborn and slow learners, and we often fail to follow through on what we’ve learned.
So at 2:30 I woke up – head churning with to-do lists and plans for today. After 45 minutes of trying to fall back to sleep, I gave up, went downstairs, drank some milk, made the kids’ lunches, organized clutter, and read a magazine. For another two hours.
In my meditations this morning, I heard the question, ‘What does it mean for me to have freedom within, and obedience to, God?’
The One who has taught me so lovingly was there waiting for me last night. And until the very end of my restless wakefulness, I didn’t trade my burdened mind for the light load He was offering me.
Small trials like a lack of sleep can remind us of our dependence on the routines we were designed to keep. Obedience to the deepest needs of my body and spirit enable me to have the life I want. The good life intended for me.
And in that good life comes the peace of understanding that is beyond my capabilities. In flutterings, wisdom and direction are showered on me like soft petals.
When I go it alone, I doom myself to unnecessary suffering.
“So now, O children, listen to me;
instruction and wisdom do not reject!
Happy the man who obeys me,
and happy those who keep my ways,
Happy the man watching daily at my gates,
waiting at my doorposts;
For he who finds me finds life,
and wins favor from the Lord;
But he who misses me harms himself…”