Holy Moments – Day 5 – Opportunity

Sometimes we are called to rise to the occasion. Globally, this is happening right now.

I know, I know…The people – the Syrian refugees – are far away. They are not walking our roads in search of food, shelter, and new lives. So it’s easy to ignore them. Or even to think one can justify contemptuous feelings when a tiny, tiny minority of them have refused help because it came in packages marked with red crosses.

But – when we choose not to turn the TV off. Or when we choose to take a good, long look at the videos. And at the heartbreaking photographs. And when we sit still long enough to listen to the whisper inside, we know that we are being called.

Jesus told us:

I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. – John 13: 34-35

Easy? Hardly. Notice that He didn’t give us a choice about who to love. We are told to love everyone.

And for many of us, loving like Christ goes something like this:

“The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.” – G. K. Chesterton 

What did Jesus say again? Put into simplest terms: They will know you are Christians when you love like I do.

Can I love like He does? Only with His help. And that’s a challenge – even on my ‘best’ days. But He didn’t say, “Here’s a suggestion.” He said, “I give you a new commandment.” So my question should only be – ‘How will I obey?’

Could this be the world’s holy moment? I think so. A moment we are being asked to rise to perform acts of sacred love. Acts set apart from the norm. Acts of real love – that is, selfless love. Defined by the fact that they demand no thanks. 

Watch this.

Voyage to a Second Life

He Knows

When I get goosebumps, I know I should pay attention.

This morning, I was brainstorming ideas for the 31 days of posts I’ll be writing in October and listening to music on YouTube when this video popped up. I hadn’t even selected it, it was just in a Christian music queue, but my hair stood on end as soon as I heard the tune. I listened to the words, and then felt that someone who visits my blog was supposed to see this today.

Whoever you are, this is for you. Though I don’t know what’s on your heart, He does.

Exposed, Like Paul

Have you heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)? It’s nifty, really. Wikipedia defines it as “psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions.” Click here for more info if you’re interested. But for the point of this story, just know that my ‘type’ is INFP – Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving. In general, and as the chart on that page indicates very briefly, I am “sensitive, creative, idealistic, perceptive, caring, and loyal,” rather than analytical, realistic and systematic. I “value inner harmony and personal growth, and focus on dreams and possibilities,” as opposed to action plans and practical problem solving. It’s not to say that I’m not capable of being or acting in ways different than my so-called ‘type,’ but a person’s ‘type,’ indicates their natural preferences. 

So – my husband and I have had a light, passing interest in Myers-Briggs for basically our whole marriage. And last week, my husband emailed me this funny tidbit about what would be “hell” for my type. (Find yours here.)

INFP  — Your deepest thoughts and feelings are exposed to a large audience and everyone thinks that you’re pathetic and unoriginal.  


I replied:  Guess I should stop writing my blog! 🙂 


So anyway….As I mentioned on Sunday, I’ve been doing this study on Galatians, which was of course written by Paul, one of the people from Scripture that I really want to meet one day. 


Now Paul’s conversion was not a sweet and simple “turning of the heart.” It was a total transformation. In Acts we learn that Paul (formerly known as Saul) consented to the execution by stoning of Stephen – the first recorded Christian martyr, and “was trying to destroy the church; entering house after house and dragging out men and women, he handed them over for imprisonment.” (Acts 8:3) Not a nice guy. 


The Paul writing to the Galatians is altogether different: “Am I now currying favor with human beings or God? Or am I seeking to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)


Whoa. When we know the truth about who Paul was before he met the Light of the World, we can see that him calling himself “a slave of Christ” is no small statement. This is a man who is reveling in humility before God. 


And that’s why I admire Paul. As I mentioned Sunday, he didn’t connect with the apostles for 3 years after meeting Christ in that blinding light. And though I mentioned that he relied on prayer, he also had the Holy Spirit, imparting His gifts: wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:2). These things together were tethers to the Father, but they required Paul’s cooperation for their full strength to be revealed. And though I’m not an expert, it sure seems like Paul was among the most cooperative Christians whoever lived. 


And as Paul submitted himself wholly to Jesus, the Lord took Paul’s gifts of intelligence, knowledge of holy Scripture (the Old Testament books), and speaking ability and put them to use building up a kingdom that God has promised “the gates of the netherworld will not prevail against” (Matthew 16:18).

I often wonder what that “thorn in the flesh” was, that Paul wanted removed so badly (2 Corinthians 12:7). Did he get migraine headaches like me? Suddenly have some other physical ailment? Or was it a psychological complaint?  A personality trait he disliked, and of course begged God to remove because he so fully recognized his inability to change himself on his own? Did he have stage fright? Did the people he’d tortured and killed come back to him in his worst nightmares? Was he ever just plain fearful that he wasn’t doing God’s will? Because if he was, I can’t find the proof. His courage, his faith, is astounding.


I won’t have these answers on this side of Heaven. But I will keep learning from Paul by reading his letters. And though it takes courage that I sometimes feel I don’t have, I will try to be like him – going against my INFP ‘type’ – exposing myself, my thoughts, and feelings willingly to new, larger audiences – not to please people, but as a slave of Christ, my Rock, my Redeemer.


  


Day of Rest

When I really do what I’m supposed to do on Sundays – rest – I am deeply blessed.

Yesterday was a great Saturday. My husband and I chauffeured the kids to their activities – daughter’s piano recital, son #1’s Tae Kwon Do tournament, son #2’s soccer game. All good. But by the time we were home, the kitchen floor was scrubbed, two loads of laundry were done, miscellaneous debris from the week was put away, and I had sewn two patches on a Boy Scout uniform, I was ready for this:

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And I was telling the kids, “Go get your own cheese and crackers. These are mine.”

We need down time to refill the wells within ourselves. If we don’t find a way to take care of ourselves, we’ll have nothing left to give to others. Which is why I woke up this morning, grateful that it is Sunday, and slightly thankful, believe it or not, for the ever-so-faint signs of a coming migraine.

After Mass, I did what my body demanded and took a nap. When I woke up, my meds had kicked in and the nap had done wonders, so I sat at the desk beside my bed and dug into the Bible study on Galatians that I’m currently doing with two close friends.

Shocker! In the still of this day of rest, the Lord had something to teach me!

Did you know that for the first 3 years after Jesus revealed Himself to Paul, Paul didn’t consult with the apostles? Instead, he went into Arabia and returned to Damascus. Remember, in that time, there were no Gospels. Paul was very educated in the Torah, but his knowledge of Christ was based first on his personal revelation – when Christ, manifest as a bright, blinding light, called out to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” (Acts 9:4).

Foregoing contact with the apostles strengthened Paul’s reliance on and personal faithfulness to Jesus Christ alone. He simply couldn’t fall back on anyone else’s faith for inspiration. He relied on that lifeline of connection to God which promises us the same strength that Paul experienced – prayer. And Paul’s testimony changed the world.

Imagine if we all took this day of rest seriously.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

– Psalm 46:10

I Can’t Hear Him

“I can’t hear Him.”

My young son is whispering, and I’m annoyed. It’s Mother’s Day, we’re in church (one of my favorite places), and I’m kneeling down for this sacred moment – the highest point of the Mass. The priest is consecrating the Host and my little boy is insistently chattering in hushed tones in my left ear.  Grrr. I just want quiet. I am not feeling holy.

“I CAN’T hear Him. I’ll NEVER hear His voice. Never!”

‘Uh-oh,’ I think. This is my fault. Try to do a good thing and…oh, well…

See, I was in Target on Saturday and in the $1 bins they had these cute little notebooks. I immediately remembered a suggestion I’d heard recently from Matthew Kelly, founder of Dynamic Catholic and acclaimed speaker and author.  He explains:

Our lives change when our habits change. Get yourself a Mass Journal and bring it to church with you each Sunday. Write down the one thing that God whispers into your soul.  This one habit will change your whole experience of the Mass, your relationship with God, and your appreciation of the Church. This one habit will help you become a-better-version-of-yourself, will make you a more engaged and contributing member of your parish community, and will invigorate your relationships.*

His straightforward idea was brilliant – a perfect way to focus my attention during the service, and on God’s will for me in the week Mass  Journalsahead. One thing. I can do that. And so can my sidekicks.

So, on the way to church I gave each of my kids a notebook and explained the idea.

“Write down the 1 thing God says to you,” I advised. “Not 2, or 5, or 8. Just one.”

My older kids (12 and 9) understood right away and didn’t object because the idea was very simple.  I could tell they were listening in church, and they were writing in their notebooks after the Gospel was read. But my little guy…Hmm.

I knew at the outset I was asking a lot. The kid starts Kindergarten in the fall. He writes his letters, but he can’t read. So, I told him I would write God’s message in his notebook for him. I mean, I couldn’t very well give the other kids a booklet and not him, right? That wouldn’t be fair. And now he says he can’t hear God. I didn’t quite foresee that difficulty, because this is the child who thinks of other people to pray for all the time. Every night during prayers, he asks God to surround everyone in the world with angels and help them have sweet dreams. He likes to read Bible stories and lights up when we talk about Jesus – who is, in his words, “the most, most powerful.” How do you tell a young child that the goodness in his heart is exactly the thing I want him to pay attention to right now?

His angst returned when we did our bedtime routine. I sensed there was more to this, so I pushed a little harder.

“What’s really wrong, buddy? We can put aside the journal until you’re bigger. That’s fine. You’re good boy. Why does this bother you so much?”

“I wanted to hear His voice FIRST!!!” he blurted out.

OH! There’s the rub. He wanted to know what God was saying before his siblings.

I knew we had to move away from the topic; he was just too worked up. So we read a book about spiders and called it a night. But his feelings struck me as universal.

When we’re listening for God, don’t we all want the satisfaction of hearing from him RIGHT NOW? Before anyone else? We love to be ‘in-the-know.’ And yet, sitting in faith can be like sitting in fog. What’s required of us is obedience and submission – the suspension of ourselves and our expectations as we wait for Him. He always fulfills His promises. He loves hearts that are turned to Him. But He’s sovereign. And good things come to those who wait.

“Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

– Psalm 27:14

*(Rediscover Catholicism: A Spiritual Guide to Living With Passion and Purpose, p. 205) – request your copy of this book and a Mass Journal at Dynamic Catholic.

Anything to Get to My Son’s Heart

I went into my son’s room just now to get this picture. My focus was really going to be on those two albums to the right – by TobyMac and Skillet. But one of our dogs followed me in and the picture turned out this way, which I think is kind of cute.

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See how her right ear is flipped out?  She’s a dog in motion, about to leave the frame to go sniff the pile of dirty clothes behind her and then settle in on that pillowy blue chair on the left side of the photo – all because these things are comfortable smells that remind her of my son. She likes to be around him. So do I.

And that’s a great thing. I’m savoring it because he’s 12 and I’m not sure what the teen years will bring. But I can tell you what he and I share right now. Music.

I was taking him to Tae Kwon Do practice last week, when “We Won’t Be Shaken” by Building 429 came on the radio. My son absentmindedly began singing. Strangely, the car was quiet. His siblings were both lost in their own thoughts. My son didn’t realize I was listening to him. Singing. Every. Word. Right. To. The. End.

When you finish reading here, click on the YouTube link below and listen. Perhaps you’ll understand why I was hiding my eyes, filled with tears of joy, when he hopped out of the car a minute or so later.

When my kids are in the car, I listen to either Christian or classical music, with few exceptions. Yes, I enjoy other genres of music and need my daily dose of news (when young ears aren’t listening), but I like the atmosphere that this music creates as we go about our activities together. And I also believe that the media we consume has an effect on what we feel, think, and become.

Scripture confirms this.

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be.” (Matthew 6:22)

The things we look at, read, and examine closely make their way into the fabric of our being and either work for good, or not. The books we read, shows we watch, music we hear, people we spend time with, matter. We need to choose wisely.

When I was about my son’s age, my dad gave me some Christian music that I listened to frequently. He had taken some time to figure out what was popular with young people in the 80s, and made selections that he thought I might like. He did a good job. The words of those songs made their way into my heart. I didn’t stay with the faith through my tumultuous teen and college years, but the lyrics I had learned and the Truth they spoke of, never left me. And when I was finally ready to turn toward the loving whisper that was gently beckoning me, I knew those songs had played an important role in my faith formation. To this day, “El Shaddai” by Amy Grant is still one of my favorites.

So, I’m listening to the radio, and to my kids, paying attention to which artists, both secular and Christian, they are responding to. And I’ve gone out on a limb and bought my son, and my daughter, CDs I think they’d enjoy with messages I’d like them to hear. I’ve been blessed for my efforts, because they are playing those CDs, singing along, engraving Truth on their hearts without even realizing it. Some of this music isn’t exactly my taste, but it’s definitely grace in action.

Sonatina

 

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sonatina (n.) – a musical composition, a short version of a sonata, which consists of three or four independent movements varying in key, mood and tempo.

I’m at my daughter’s piano lesson. Her teacher is coaching her through her very first sonatina, and they have been replaying a tiny section for 20 minutes now. The teacher, firmly but lovingly instructs in Russian-accented English.  She softly sings the melody, claps out the changing tempo, encourages, challenges, compliments…

“Your goal is to play correctly……So beautiful….Let’s grow through this phrase….Good job…..Listen…..Okay, start again. Concentrate……Crescendo will come….Just relax….Don’t rush……Good…Ok, not so loud. How will you grow?…..Again, look just ahead…..Very nice!!”

They are building upon the sections my daughter has learned in the past few weeks, and on skills she has acquired in her four years of music study. My daughter is 9, and her teacher and I have discussed this many times: the goal here is not to produce a professional musician. The goal is to foster the love of music my girl was born with, and to inspire within her a lifelong appreciation of this particular art.

Yet, my daughter also seems to have an ability for this instrument, an aptitude, maybe a gift. I don’t want her to squander it by ignoring it in favor of short-term pursuits. But in her immaturity, she goes back and forth between listening to me and ignoring me. And she has a short attention span – not long-range vision. So I remind her to, and on occasion make her, practice. Then practice a little more. See, I think she could play for her family, friends, or a church far into the winter of her life.

And this – this lifelong ideal of musical love and development – is why gentle encouragement is so important. If her teacher and I push her too hard, there’s a very real risk she’ll lose her joy for playing. And if it sounds like I’m overthinking this, it’s because I know I could so easily push my expectations and hopes onto this child, and I also know that in all likelihood, I will (or have already) said the wrong thing to her at some point. The voices she hears in her mind as she plays echo those she hears as she learns.

I’m sure I’ve failed in my pursuit to find the perfect balance between affirmation and pressure. But I keep going, believing I’m a better mother for focusing on my goal, which was affirmed for me once again in my Bible study this morning while reading these verses.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

– Philippians 3:12-14

The fact is – I am a work in progress. My life is about growing up and into the state I’ve been called to live in – holiness. And I don’t say that in a lofty sort of way, because I believe everyone is called to holiness. We are designed, from before our very conception, to seek union with God in Heaven, and in this life, all our other attempts to find complete satisfaction and perfection will fail. So until my time comes, I press forward, keeping my eyes on this prize.

If I were left alone to strive for holiness, I would be making even more cacophonous noise in my life than I already do. Because though I may sometimes say the right things to my daughter, for example, my words alone don’t reveal the full intentions of my heart. As a sinner, my heart and mind continue to mess up, because I stubbornly continue to rely on my strength to be a ‘good’ mother, wife, friend, or Christian.

But I’m not alone. My Teacher, the one who sings me the tunes I’m trying to play and coaxes me through endless repetitions of sticky, challenging, and seemingly redundant notes in a life that constantly changes tempo, mood, and key, is faithfully patient. Best of all, He is forgiving – endlessly willing to start with me again when I make mistakes and don’t practice what I’m learning. The Holy Spirit nudges me to pass on the treasures of these holy lessons …to a daughter who listens, albeit imperfectly – just like me.