5 Wholesome Things I Learned in June

5 Wholesome Things I Learned in June

We are halfway through 2019! Can you believe it? And as has been true for each month this year, I’m here to recap my wholesome ‘finds’ from the last few weeks. May they bless you or, at the very least, entertain you, for you are probably wiser than me and already know any bit of everyday wisdom I can share!

  • First, I’ll start with my most recent revelation, which is that in my early 20s, I had horrible taste in movies. I didn’t especially like Rocky, I thought Jerry Maguire was unconditionally wonderful, and I was bored silly by The Quiet Man, a classic made in 1952 and starring none other than America’s most famous actor, John Wayne. The infantile film critic in me was uncovered when I watched each film for the second time this month – the first two on a flight to Denver, CO, for a memorial service, and the last one with my husband and our kids in preparation for our upcoming family trip to Ireland. Now the kids finally know who John Wayne is (can you imagine not knowing!?! ha!), and I am questioning how fully developed my frontal lobe really was when I was 23. You should try this same exercise. Re-watch the films you once hated and loved. You might surprise yourself.
  • Next, if you’ve got teenagers, you know it can be difficult to bridge the generational gap. Chances are, you have different opinions about music. My oldest son is learning to drive, so we’ve been spending a lot of time in the car this month. One artist he’s shared with me on our longer rides is Lindsey Stirling, a classical crossover and rock violinist. He first heard her music featured in an Irish dance show. (His sister was also in the show, but perhaps that was beside the point?) In any case, I actually enjoy Stirling’s vibe! Who knew we’d find such a connection? Where there is peace while driving, mothers are grateful. And gratitude and good music are wholesome indeed.
  • Third, and now this is exciting – I learned how to revive wilting hydrangeas. I had gotten 6 stems of them for a dinner party and they looked just beautiful until the following morning. Droopy and sad, they resembled Snoopy in a rainstorm. So I scoured the internet and found a solution that actually worked! 1) Cut the stems at a 45 degree angle. 2) Make another 1-inch cut length-wise up each stem, starting at the bottom. 3) Submerge the stems in boiling water for 30 seconds (no longer) and then plunge them into clean lukewarm water. They will be bright green and the blooms should revive in a few hours. All but one of my 6 stems came back in full and lasted more than 8 days! This photo was taken on day 5.
  • Fourth, I read a few good books this month, but the best one BY FAR was Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. I hardly know where to begin to explain why this text is so moving, so tender, so evocative and powerful except to say that Manning reaffirmed for me what I knew several years ago when I first truly encountered God and came to the understanding that He loves me (and you) personally. God is not interested in our posturing, law, or good works. Through Jesus Christ, he has made visible his invitation to us, and when we put aside our foolish pride and admit we are all paupers and in desperate need of His extravagant love, then He can make something beautiful of us. Each of us is made in His image, and He is for all of us. “God is a Being for others, not a Being for Himself alone,” Manning writes (p. 123). That’s why He is the very definition of Love. It’s the best book I’ve read in awhile. Period.
  • Finally, if you’re on Instagram, here are a few photography pages you really need to check out. They’re devoted to wild animals and especially the sea – a place many of us would like to be on a hot day! There are a couple photos on Sea Legacy that are so breathtaking my oldest son swore they were paintings and not actual shots.
  • Christina Mittermeier
  • Paul Nicklen
  • Sea Legacy
  • These pages are also in line with the two television series my youngest son and I have been glued to over the last few months: Our Planet and Planet Earth II from the BBC (both available on Netflix and narrated by David Attenborough). Like the TV series, the Instagram pages I’ve recommended are mesmerizing because they capture the indescribable beauty of our world. Let’s do what we can to care for it in whatever small ways we can.

That’s it for June. Thank you for reading! Look for a blog post later this week.

With gratitude for you,

Gretchen

What Do You KNOW is Right?

What Do You KNOW is Right?

Photo by Warren Wong, Burlington Heights, Hamilton, Canada. unsplash.com

I was prepared to make my case to him, but he surprised me completely when he said,

“It goes against everything I know is right.”

Even if I could, I would never go back to his tender age – fourteen – to face the challenges of adolescence once more.

He’d been issued an invitation to see a movie with friends, and before I talked to him about it I’d watched the trailer online. The premise alone suggested the film would have few redeeming qualities: colleagues trapped in a skyscraper are challenged to a game of kill or be killed by an unknown voice blasted over the company’s intercom system. Call me ‘chicken,’ but the plot, music, and outtakes told me all I needed to know: there’s no way I’d want to watch this movie, and knowing my son, it wasn’t going to be good for him either.

If you’re a parent you know this hard truth: We cannot perpetually shield our children from a world bent on destroying their innocence and the values with which they were raised. But we try.

Lately, my relationship with my son has consisted of more challenging moments than warm fuzzy ones. We irritate one another. I remind him to do tasks I feel are essential (study for that test, be clear in your plans with friends, limit your XBox time, etc.), while he pushes back (I’m ready for the test, my friends know what’s up, and your limits are unreasonable.) It’s standard teenage fare. But I don’t like feeling like a mini dictator, and he chafes under restrictions which simultaneously curb his freedom and protect him.

Day after day, we do the dance, and I must say, he is a responsible, well-mannered, and thoughtful kid -most of the time. But then I wonder – when faced with a tough decision, what will he do?

The movie was a simple case – I wasn’t going to allow him to see it and I figured there would be alternative plans made in the event he couldn’t go. But before I let him know that, I wanted to hear his thoughts. Opportunities like this one are rarer than I’d wish.

I approached him as he played a video game and told him to pause it – that we needed to talk. Then I told him the facts without offering an opinion: the invitation was to see “The Belko Experiment.” Did he know this movie?

He let out a big sigh and gave me that shocking answer.

“It goes against everything I know is right.”

The coldblooded murder and gore for gore’s sake, the deceit, the lack of heroism (as far as we understood) – it was all troubling. We talked about this and I understood what he was seeing. There seemed to be no fight between good and evil – and not one where you know in advance that good will triumph. We stand firm in the knowledge of the Promise: that the war between good and evil has already been fought, and good has won – for all eternity. It’s imperative to remind ourselves and others of this when the world’s real-life events already cause enough doubt, dismay, and despair.

Where did this child of mine come from?

I wish there were some way to ensure that he would never go astray, that he’d always reach such lofty reasoned conclusions, borne of efforts (both his and mine) to adhere to a higher moral code. But there are no guarantees.

The only thing I can say is this: I have prayed for this child, and I will keep on praying for him, and no power on earth can touch the One to whom I entrust my son entirely. I am confident that my appeals are heard, and that the Lord who has gifted my son with life and begun a good work in his soul, will carry it on to completion in life eternal with Himself.

 

Day 12 – Family Movie Night

Saturday night is usually “family movie night” at our house. Our selections generally need to have broad appeal since the audience of five ranges in age from 4 to 42 and includes both genders. So – it’s not all action movies or cartoon animation, and it’s not all princess stories, either. Lately, we’ve been trying out some classics we think the kids might enjoy.  I’m happy to report that in the last few months, The Wizard of Oz, The Goonies, and The Sound of Music were hits!

Photo credit: "Maria" by jessowey, www.fanpop.com
Photo credit: “Maria” by jessowey, www.fanpop.com

 

What I cherish most about these evenings is not the break in routine from our very scheduled lives, but the feeling in our home just before we descend to the basement to get settled in. We make a bunch of popcorn. Then, the kids grab pillows, stuffed animals and blankets from their rooms and loudly haul them downstairs. They are jubilant and pumped with adrenaline. They “call” spots.  Who gets the little hideaway between the sofa and the Elvis lamp? (It was from my husband’s first apartment – none of his roommates claimed it when everyone moved out, but we still have it….worth some money, maybe??…..the kids love that nook.)  And who will get the alligator chair? – a green stuffed animal/pillow that we bought for child #1’s baby room, but that has mysteriously lingered for almost 12 years. And who gets the sofa, to cuddle with Mom?  (Thankfully, this last choice is not always the last choice.)

These joyful family rituals are the ties that will connect my kids’ childhood memories, along with family dinners, outings to museums and sites in nearby cities, school events we all attend, holidays, church on Sunday, etc. And the truth is, I know I couldn’t really appreciate these situations without a modicum of God’s grace.  Not because I don’t love my kids, but because try as I might, I still love them as only a human mother can.  And sometimes, the noise they make drives me nuts.

When I’m tired, and just looking forward to putting my feet up on a sofa, and watching a nice movie next to my husband, I sometimes have to step back and remind myself where all this luxury of time, good health, food, and a home came from. And when I do, and I offer thanks to the One who gave it to me, my preconceived notions of how I think I like my house to be – which is QUIET – go away. My perspective shifts.  And I love how it does. Every. Single. Time.

My perspective swings off of me and my preferences, and onto Him and His gifts to me…..Too numerous to count. Among them – three kiddos just psyched that we’re all here, and going to do something together, yet again. Thank you, thank you, thank you….